Turmoil in Thailand

To perform the project “What the world has never seen” all members of the team need to be deeply penetrated by a feeling of being sure of oneself. A belief in the concept and a trust in the own capabilities to find persons that show what nobody has never seen.
Indeed, it comes close to bravery and even more close to megalomania but the effectiveness and correctness of these attitudes have been proven so right with great results made in New York, Moscow and Istanbul.
It is like sticking out the neck and escaping decapitation.
Believing in the impossible and see it come true nevertheless.

Vital in this process for the performers is to feel self assured. Well balanced. Convinced. To be a believer. Very necessary: as we know a skydiver also can’t hesitate to pull the parachute release.

For the last year there has not been any lack of self-assuredness. The project “What the world has never seen” has been made public without hesitation.
Every person involved in production was and is a hero.

But this time there is a problem with the photographer. I had no problems being one with the team in being convinced every time before a journey that amazing persons would be found.
New York was not too big; Moscow was not too corrupt; Istanbul was not too charming.
But now in Thailand it is completely different. This has to do with an experience in the personal life in the week before to fly to Bangkok. Something happened that has made me lose most of what keeps me coherent, self assured and determined. It feels that instead of standing firm on the surface of the earth, I am now rotating without control in outer space. It feels I lost myself: the fine fabric of a balanced personality gone. It is a personal matter and nobody else is responsible although it is happening due to having experienced one particular person and having come under the spell of her aura.
Dammit.
How can I find now persons in Thailand showing what nobody has ever seen when I am in such a personal turmoil?